If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
