So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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