One girl and one boy is just not enough.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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