I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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