dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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