No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
