I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
