You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
