Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
