You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
