so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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