Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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