I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
