He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
