drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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