I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ugly people sure do ruin things
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
