I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
