Do you still have your period?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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