:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
