Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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