I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize