we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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