You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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