I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
