drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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