Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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