she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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