i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
