I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
