Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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