If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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