I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
