New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
