Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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