I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we made out on top of his cat.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
