we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
