Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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