why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
