I love black thongs
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
