well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
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The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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