just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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