Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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