His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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