everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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