Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
