"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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