I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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