you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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