I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
