ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
