The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
