The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
