I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
NoShamevember. You game?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
