i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I could fuck to npr.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
