i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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