omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
