Already got asked if we're dating
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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