Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
